Clinging To The Fat Boy
by KikiElsaEponine
Summary: Eric Cartman is always known as the school's asshole. When a new girl full of goofy optimistic personality moves to South Park, Eric can't seem to bring her down. During this process, Eric begins to develop strange feelings for this girl. Will he ever tell her?
1. Chapter 1

**Decided to rewrite my South Park OC story and gave my OC more optimism and positive attitude. **

Down at the bus stop at a small town in Colorado, there were four boys. Kyle, a Jewish boy in an orange jacket and green hat, a boy named Kenny, whom always hid his face in his orange hoodie, Stan, whom wore a blue hat and brown jacket, and Eric Cartman, a fat boy in a red jacket and turquoise hat.

Eric was known as a fatass and he was, but denied it all the time. He spent a lot of his time cursing and making fun of Kyle of being a Jew and Kenny being poor.

As the boys walked into class, they noticed someone in Cartman's seat. She was a chubby girl, but far from looking like Cartman. She had dirty blonde long hair. She wore a periwinkle hat, pink jacket, green scarf, and jeans.

"EH! Ho! Outta of my spot!" Yelled Cartman.

"Woopsie!" She responded and moved to the empty seat next to Eric's spot. "Wrong seat."

"You're such a dick, Cartman." Yelled Kyle.

"At least I'm not a stupid Jew."

"Take your seats!" Mr. Garrison yelled.

The class sat down while the blondie stood up and went to the front.

"Now class this is Allison Jade, she just moved here so please show her respect...Eric!"

"EH!" Eric shouted.

"Excuse me Mr. Garrison," Allison said. "Would it be too much if you and the class pretty please call me AJ? I mean, Allison is such a long name to say."

"...Whatever, take your seat."

"Oh tay." AJ took her seat back next to Cartman smiling.

"Oh my fucking God, this girl is such a goodie goodie bitch." Cartman whispered to Kenny.

("Dude, no fucking way. She seems pretty damn awesome.") Kenny responded. ("In fact, she is probably the most positive girl at this school. I'd love to get a piece of that.")

"Kinny your such a man whore."

"QUIET ERIC!" Shouted Mr. Garrison.

"Psst..." Whispered AJ to Cartman. "Do you have an extra pencil?"

"Yeah, but I'm not giving it to you." Cartman responded.

"How about a trade." AJ unzipped her bag and pulled out a box of Double Stuffed Oreos. "How's this for a trade?"

Cartman looked at the box of Oreos and couldn't help but give in.

"Thank you, Eric." She smiled.

Later in lunch at the boys table, Cartman was munching on the Oreos,

"You guys, it was fucking sweet." He munched. "The noob traded my extra pencil for these Oreos. She's such a dumb ass."

"And you're a fatass." Clyde said.

"Clyde, go fuck yourself."

"How about you. Lets be honest, you probably jack off every night because you know you'll never get a girlfriend."

"YOU KNOW WHAT CLYDE, SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"Don't be mad at him because its true." Craig spoke.

"GOD DAMMIT CRAIG! YOU'RE NOT IN THIS YOU ASSHOLE!"

"Hi guys." AJ said walking over to the boy's table.

"Hey, you're the new girl." Kyle said.

"Yeppers. That's me."

"My name's Kyle."

"AKA JEW BOY!" Cartman mocked.

"Shut up, Cartman!"

("Hi, I'm Kenny.") Kenny said.

"AKA SUPER POOR!" At that point Kenny punched Cartman in the face and Cartman fell down. AJ giggled at the sight.

"Nice punch, Kenny." She said.

("Thanks.") Kenny responded. Cartman stood up and sat back down at the lunch table while he flicked off Kenny.

"I'm Stan, and over here are Craig and Clyde." Stan said.

"Hi." She said. "I hope we become good friends." At this moment AJ's eyes shifted to look at Cartman, whom was beginning to get a bruise on his cheek.

"Excuse me." She said as she walked over to Cartman.

"Dude, what the fuck is she doing?" Asked a rather confused Kyle.

"Hey Eric." She said. "Are you okay?"

"Okay!? Kinny punched me in the mother fucking face!"

"Yeah and your starting to get a boo boo." She opened her lunch bag and pulled out paper towel and an ice pack. She wrapped the ice pack in the paper towel and gave it to Cartman.

"Here, put this on your cheek."

"FUCK NO! I'm not a pussy! I don't need an ice pack!"

"Looksies, I'm sorry for laughing, but I couldn't help it. I just love to laugh. Now please put the ice pack on."

"No."

"Please...?"

"No!"

"Pretty please...?"

"God dammit!" Cartman took the ice pack and put it to his cheek.

"See that wasn't so hard." AJ got up. "Well I gotta go. The girls invited me to their table. Bye bye." AJ skipped merrily off leaving the boys confused.

"...What the fuck...?" Stan said.


	2. Chapter 2

AJ arrived at the girls table and sat down. Wendy and the girls were huddled up while talking about what AJ had just done. They were puzzled that how this girl was actually nice to Eric Cartman. Eventually, the girls broke out of their huddle and Wendy spoke,  
"Hi AJ, i'm Wendy." She said.  
"Hi Wendy." AJ replied enthusiastically. "Its nice of you all to invite me over here."  
"No problem." Bebe replied. "Oh, I'm Bebe by the way."  
"Hi."  
Eventually, AJ had met all the girls at the table and learned all their names. Then Wendy spoke,  
"Sooo..."  
"Sooo...what?" Replied AJ.  
"You know...who's your crush?" Annie asked.  
"Crush? But I just got here." AJ giggled.  
"Oh come on AJ, almost all the girls develop a crush on the boys on the first day." Bebe remarked.  
"Well, I guess I'm the rare one."  
"Your serious?"  
"Yes, I have no gentleman caller right now."  
"Well, if you decide to look for boys, you can come talk to me." Wendy said. "To be clear, Stan is mine and Kyle is Bebe's man."  
"Got it Wendy." Replied AJ.  
"Oh...stay away from fatass."  
"Wait what?! Who's fatass?"  
"You know, Eric Cartman."  
"What? He's taken too?"  
"No, he's just a sexist, racist, fat, manipulating, self centered ass wipe."  
"Whoa Wendy! Don't you think thats a teensy weensy bit harsh?"  
"No, its so true." Heidi stated. "He rips on Kyle for being Jewish all the time."  
"Well..."  
"Not to mention when he made fun of breast cancer." Added Wendy.  
"Okay now that's just wrong."  
"You see now?"  
"Yeppers, I do."  
"Good because we saw you with Cartman and we thought we should give you a heads up."  
"Wait what!?"  
"Well...you kinda were flirting with him." Bebe said.  
"What? How so?"  
"You were caring for him."  
"Girlies, I did that out of kindness, not because I was flirting with him."  
"Are you sure?" Wendy asked.  
"I'm super dooper cross my heart and hope to die I'm sure."  
"Okay...good." The girls let out a sigh of relief and enjoyed the rest of their lunch time with AJ until it was rime for recess.  
The boys gathered in their usual playground spot and thats when Craig spoke,  
"Ha ha Cartman needed a girl to care for his bruise."  
"SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH CRAIG!" Cartman shouted. "She made me take the god damn ice pack."  
"So...you gonna ask her out, Cartman?" Kyle mockingly asked.  
"Oh wait, he's too much of a stubborn fatass. She would never say yes." Stan joked.  
"SHUT YOUR GOD DAMN MOUTHS! Im not asking her out because 1, ewwwww, 2, I don't even like her, and 3, she's a bitch ass hippie!"  
"That Cartman wants to date." Teased Kyle.  
"FUCK YOU KYLE! You know what, screw you guys I'm going home."  
Cartman left the boys to go home and was soon was gone. Once Cartman was gone, the boys cracked more jokes about Cartman and AJ and laughed. This is when a boy named Butters walked in and joined the laughter. Everyone stopped laughing and that is when Butters asked,  
"Um fellas what are we laughing about?"  
"Cartman let a girl care for his bruised cheek." Clyde spoke.  
"Yeah, Cartman says he doesn't even like her, so to piss him off, we cracked jokes about how he should ask her out." Added Kyle.  
"Gee wiz that is funny." Replied Butters.  
"Yeah he got so pissed off he went home."  
"Whoa!"  
"I know!"  
Later, Butters walked the playground alone for the boys kicked him out of their group like they usually do. Butters decided to go swing and to his surprise, AJ was on the swing beside him.  
"Oh hi." AJ said. "Whats your name?"  
"Butters." Butters said.  
"Hi, I'm AJ, the new girl...why aren't you playing with the boys?"  
"They kicked me out of their conversation. You see the guys kinda leave me out sometimes. But,  
I'm okay alone."  
"But your not alone."  
"Really?"  
"Of course not, I'll be your friend."  
"Oh geez, you're serious?"  
"Super dooper cross my heart and hope to die serious."  
Butters and AJ played on the swings for the rest of recess and they returned to class.  
"Where the hell is Eric?!" Mr. Garrison shouted.  
"He went home." Stan said.  
"Oh thank God."  
Eric arrived home to hear his mom say,  
"Poopsiekins, why aren't you in school?"  
"Screw them mom, I went home."  
"Oh...would you like some cheesy poofs?"  
"Hell yeah I want some cheesy poofs."  
Later after school, AJ and Butters walked to AJ's house. As they got there Butters said,  
"Hey that's Eric's house. He lives across the street from you."  
"Well isn't that a bizarre coincidence." Replied AJ. "Anyways it was nice hanging out with you...you're like the brother I always wanted."  
"Really? I was thinking the same thing. You're like the sister I always wanted."  
"Awesome, from now on, you'll be my brother and I will be your sissy."  
"Oh boy this is great! Oh I got to head home before my parents ground me, bye."  
"Bye Butters!" Shouted AJ. AJ had no idea that Cartman had seen this whole thing from his window. He thought,  
"Now I'm gonna get revenge on this bitch for making me look like a fucking pussy. Fuck her! Fuck this bitch ass hippie."


	3. Chapter 3

AJ woke up the next day; it was Saturday. AJ checked her phone and found that Butters had texted her,

"Morning AJ, all the kids are gathering at Starks pond to ice skate. You should come."

AJ was so excited to be invited and sprung out of bed. She texted Butter back saying,

"OMG YEPPERS! I WILL BE THERE, BRO!"

AJ grabbed a quick breakfast, put on her coat and shoes. That is when AJ's little second grade sister came down stairs.

"Where are you going?" She asked.

"Going skating, Cassandra." AJ replied.

"Can I come?"

"No, sorry sissy."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"How about when I get home, we can play."

"Really!? Okay, bye."

"Tell mom I went out to see friends."

AJ hugged her only sibling and walked out the door. It was only AJ, Cassandra, and their mom in the house. Their dad divorced their mom because they just could never get along. Cassandra and AJ still visit their dad every now and then down in Florida in the summer, but thats it.

AJ arrived at Starks Pond only to hear Cartman shout,

"Butters and AJ sitting in a tree

K-i-s-s-i-n-g."

"Eric, its nothing like that." Responded Butters.

"Oh yeah right, you walked home with her, she's your little girlfriend."

"WAIT! WHAT!?" AJ shouted.

"Oh look Butters, its your girlfriend."

"Wait, back this up a bit. Butters is just a friend."

"Come on guys, do you believe her?"

"Yes." Said Stan.

"Yes." Kyle said.

("Hell yes.") Kenny said.

"...fuck you guys."

"Cartman, I can see how you were confused because you saw Butters and I walk to my house. However, he's my brother from another mother." AJ said then turned to Butters. "Come on bro, let's go skate." The two left to go skate leaving Eric confused.

"She didn't even get pissed off, GODDAMMIT!" He yelled.

"Why the hell do you care about that?" Asked Stan.

"Because it was my revenge, asshole. To make fun of her with Butters and get her pissed."

"Well fatass, looks like your plan didn't work." Kyle said.

"SHUT YOUR FUCKING JEW MOUTH!"

("Can we just go skate?") Kenny said annoyed.

"...fine..." Cartman said. Then at that moment, Cartman thought of a better plan. To trip AJ and have her fall on her ass in front of everyone.

As Eric got on the ice. He noticed how good of a skater AJ was. She could do a famous triple lutz with her blonde hair flying in the wind. Cartman couldn't stop watching her skate. In fact, he forgot what he was supposed to do.

Eric was so distracted that he collided with Craig and fell down with a hard fall on his leg. Craig didn't fall and quickly regained his balance.

"Watch where you're going!" Craig shouted.

"ME!?" Cartman yelled. "YOUR BITCH ASS IS THE ONE WHO KNOCKED ME DOWN! OWWW! SHIT!"

Eric had received a broken leg from his fall and his bone was out of place. Everyone just stared at Eric as AJ skated to Eric.

"Can you stand?" She asked.

"Whore! Stay away!" He yelled.

"Do you want your leg better?"

"Yes." AJ skated behind Cartman and put his arm around her shoulder. She began to lift him up, to everyone's surprise, she was strong enough to lift him up.

"FUCK THIS HURTS!"

"Eric, if you don't calm down, it makes it worse. Pretty please?"

"Fine." Eric sighed.

"Good boy." AJ helped Eric off the ice and let Eric call his mom. Soon enough Liane showed up to take her son to the hospital.

"Thank you for helping my dear Eric." Cartman's mom said.

"No problemo, its what I do."

Soon Eric and his mom were gone, thats when the girls approached AJ.

"Hey girlies." She smiled.

"Why did you do that?" Wendy asked.

"He needed help, I figured I'd help."

"He doesn't deserve help, he's an asshole." Bebe said.

"B, we couldn't just leave him there."

"Yes we could." Annie said.

"I don't know girlies, he doesn't seem all that bad."

"...sleepover." Wendy said. "My house...tonight. You need to know the truth."

At the hospital, Eric had gotten a cast.

"Its lucky your son got here soon." The doctor said. "Now his leg can heal."

"This cast sucks!" Eric complained

"Oh Eric, all your little friends at school can sign it." Cartman's mom said. Cartman groaned.

Before AJ went to Wendy's house, she saw Eric hop out of the car on crutches. AJ waved smiling while Eric just stared, waved back, and hobbled into his house.

"I hope he's all right." AJ thought.


	4. Chapter 4

AJ arrived to Wendy's house. She rang the doorbell and Wendy answered right away.

"Hi ya Wendy!" She said.

"Come in." Wendy said.

"Oh tay."

As AJ walked in, she noticed It was just Wendy, Bebe, and Her.

"Where are the other girlies?"

"Well.." Bebe said. "We know Cartman a lot more than the other girls and we didn't want them making up bullshit."

"Makes sense."

Wendy pulled out a journal labeled, "Why Cartman is a Dick."

"This is a journal I have kept of Cartman being an evil bastard." Wendy said. She flipped it open and read, "Eric is a dick because he rips on Kyle for being Jewish and Kenny for being poor. He is also a dick for he eats everyone's food, he's the biggest discriminator ever..." Wendy read on and then AJ noticed she skipped a page.

"What's that?!" AJ asked.

"Nothing!" Wendy replied.

"Let me see!" AJ grabbed the book and opened to the skipped page. She read, "He's a dick because he made me fall for him. I had to kiss him to escape my feelings for him so I could love Stan again...WHOA HOLD ON, WENDY, YOU KISSED ERIC!?"

"In front of everyone." Added Bebe.

"Let's not get into this." Wendy said face palming herself. Then AJ spoke,

"Let me get this straight, you write about him being an asshole, but you were the one who shared a kiss with him. That doesn't make sense."

"I had to." Wendy said. "I had to get rid of my feelings for him,"

"And you kiss him...how does that even work?"

"It just worked, after that, I no longer had feelings for him."

"I don't get it..."

"So you know the truth of Cartman now." Bebe said changing the subject.

"I think I do." AJ responded.

"Good." Wendy said.

The rest of the night was a regular girls sleepover. Makeovers, playing games, and pillow fights.

The next day, AJ walked home from Wendy's house exhausted. AJ went up to her room, fell on her bed, and passed out. AJ woke up at about noon by her mom.

"Allison, how was the sleepover?"

"Fun, I'm sleepy though."

"Well, remember that boy you helped yesterday, he's here with his mom." AJ got up out of bed and went downstairs to see Eric and his mom.

"Hello, my son has something to say, don't you Eric?" Liane said.

"...Thanks..." Eric muttered.

"You're very welcome." AJ responded with a smile. "Hey...can I sign your cast?"

"I think that Eric would like that, right?" Liane said looking at Eric.

"...Sure...fine." Grumbled Cartman.

AJ grabbed a sharpie and scribbled her signature on Eric's cast. Then she drew a heart around her name.

"There you go, Eric." AJ said with a smile.

"Isn't that cute Eric?" Cartman's mom asked.

"Fine whatever." Eric responded.

"Well poopsiekins and I have to go now."

"Oh tay bye." AJ waved as the mother and son left AJ's house.

The next day, Cartman hobbled to the bus stop on his crutches. The other three boys at the bus stop giggled.

"WHAT!?" Yelled Cartman.

("It's your love for AJ.") Giggled Kenny.

"I do not love her, Kinny."

("Then why did you let her help you again?")

"Because my leg fucking hurt! NONE OF YOU ASSHOLES WOULD HAVE HELPED ANYWAYS."

"True." Responded Stan. Kyle began to laugh hard, for he was looking at Eric's cast. Kyle said,

"She signed your cast with a heart, fatass. It has to be love."

"SHUT UP YOU FUCKING JEW! MY MOM MADE ME GO TO AJ'S HOUSE AND MADE ME HAVE AJ SIGN IT!"

"You're in denial, Cartman." Stan said.

"No I'm not!" Yelled Eric.

("Yes you are.") Kenny said.

"SHUT UP KINNY."

As everyone entered the classroom at school, Wendy saw Eric's cast with AJ's signature.

"You have to be fucking kidding me." She said to Bebe who took notice too.

"I thought we convinced her." Bebe said.

"I thought so too."


	5. Chapter 5

At recess, Wendy pulled AJ aside again.

"We thought you understood." She said.

"I did." Replied AJ. "I finally understand that Eric needs a buddy that won't make fun of him."

"No he doesn't!"

"Wendy, it sounds to me that the reason Eric does all these bad things is because most everyone here calls him a fatty and stupid."

"Because he is!"

"He is not! He is a people person and has the right to be treated like one. Now if you will excuse me, I have a date with the monkey bars."

AJ left leaving Wendy to say,

"We lost her...I think it's best to let her do what she wants and let her fall on her ass." All the girls agreed.

AJ walked to the monkey bars to play with Butters. Kenny walked up to them and asked,

("Butters, can I talk to AJ...alone.")

"Well sure." Responded Butters. He hopped off the monkey bars and headed to the swings.

"What's up, Ken-ken?" AJ asked.

("Cartman...) He responded.

"What about him?"

("I he's having a party Friday. He said I could invite someone.")

"Oh...otay I'll go."

("Cool.")

The bell rang and as it did, principal Victoria made an annoucement,

"4th-6th graders meet in the gym for an assembly, thank you."

The students gathered in the gym. AJ sat next to Butters as Mr. Mackey approached the microphone.

"All right students, m'kay. As you all know that the spring fling dance is approaching next month, m'kay." All the girls began to squeal in excitement while the boys silently groaned. "Now you all know that the dance is only open to the 4th through 6th graders, m'kay. Remember to dress in formal attire, boys, no jeans, m'kay. Girls, no attire that makes you look like a dirty slut, m'kay." Then, Mr. Mackey explained more rules about the dance and then the students were sent back to class.

As the 4th graders returned to class, Mr. Garrison assigned them a packet and were told to work quietly.

"Psst...Kahl." Whispered Cartman.

"What?" Kyle whispered back

"Jews can't go to dances, they can't get dates for shit."

"Actually fatass, I just asked Bebe before we got back to class and she said yes." Cartman was surprised, but decided to cover that up by saying,

"Well, we all know Butters won't get a date."

"Actually," whispered AJ "Butters already got someone."

"GODDAMMIT!" Yelled Eric.

"Eric shut your god damn mouth!" Mr. Garrison yelled.

The rest of the week flew by and it was Friday night, Cartman's party.

Kenny rang the doorbell to AJ's house. Cassandra answered the door. She looked at Kenny and began to frown.

"Listen buddy," she snarled grabbing Kenny by the shirt. "Don't fuck with my sister or I will fucking stab you."

"Cassandra, is Kenny there?" Yelled AJ called from upstairs.

"Yes sissy." Cassandra called up in her cute little voice. Then she turned to Kenny and returned to her nasty attitude. "I'm her sister, I'm more important to her than you are, got it!?"

("Got it...") Kenny said frightened. Then Cassandra turned sweet again when she saw her big sister walk down the stairs.

"Bye sissy." Cassandra said hugging her sister.

"Bye." AJ replied.

Kenny and AJ walked across the street to Eric's house. Kenny walked in with AJ and AJ was surprised to see the whole 4th grade there.

"Hey wait," AJ said as she approached Wendy. "You told me you hate Cartman."

"Everyone here does," replied Wendy. "But, you can't pass up a party at his house. He is an ass, but he does throw good parties." Cartman hobbled in on his crutches and took notice to Kenny and AJ.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING WITH HER!?" He thought. "He can't be asking her to the dance, can he?"

Kenny's plan was working. Kenny knew if he took AJ as a date to Cartman's party, he would get jealous. Kenny wanted Eric Cartman to finally admit he's in love in front of everyone. Kenny put his arm around AJ's waist to which AJ smiled.

"THAT MAN WHORE!" Cartman thought. "He is going after some hippie noob...who is some what good looking and nice. He's a dumb poor asshole."


	6. Chapter 6

Kenny did more and more things to piss Cartman off. He gave her a flower and he complimented her. The worst thing for Eric was that AJ was letting him flirt with her.

"What's the matter, Cartman?" Stan joked.

"Are you jealous right now?" Kyle added.

"I knew it Jew!"

"What?"

"You payed Kenny to see if I could crack, right?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Well guess what Kahl, I won't crack because I don't like her!"

"...Cartman, I had nothing to do with this and nor does Stan."

Kyle and Stan walked away and at that moment, Kenny and AJ passed by. Without a word, Eric grabbed Kenny from the back of his hood and led him too his room.

"Kinny, I'm not fucking playing this game anymore." Cartman said. "How much did the Jew pay you!?"

("Nothing.") Kenny said.

"Bullshit! You only go out with whores."

("That's not true!")

"Yes it is!"

("Wait, you said I only go out with whores, that means you don't think she's a whore.")

"...So?"

("So you LOVE her.")

"God dammit Kinny! I do not!"

("Whatever you stubborn asshole. By the way, if you want to know, AJ and I are just friends.") As Kenny had closed the door, Cartman let out a sigh of releif,

"Oh thank god! Wait! What the fuck am I saying?"

"I think someone's in love." Cupid Me said appearing from the random. "But Eric is just afraid to admit it."

"Well, its not so easy." Eric said.

"But Eric, you are so awesome and cool."

"I know I'm awesome and cool, but what if it's not enough?"

"Eric, you're so cool that you could sing a song to her window."

"Okay, I will." Eric responded. That is when Cartman ended the party early. Everyone was confused that they had to leave so early, but they left.

"Bye Kenny." AJ said while giving him a lite kiss on the cheek. "I'm so glad we're friends."

("Me too.") Kenny responded. Kenny looked up to see Cassandra staring out the window at him. ("Well I got to go.") Kenny rushed back home as AJ went back inside.

At midnight, Eric finally chose and rehearased his song for AJ.

"What do you think?" He asked Cupid Me

"It's awesome, Eric." Cupid Me responded. "You're so cool."

"I know."

"Get a move on, Romeo."

"Okay okay." Eric said while he snuck downstairs and out the door.

Eric approached the dark house across the street, he recognized AJ's window for she had sticker art on her window spelling out her name, Allison. Eric hesitated for a bit, but he eventually picked up some pebbles and threw them at AJ's window.

AJ awoke startled. She crawled out of bed and listened,

_"All those days, chasing down a daydream. All those years, living in a blur. All that time, never truly seeing things the way they were..."_

AJ opened her window and looked down at a dark figure...

_ "Now she's here shining in the star light."_ The figure sang. _"Now she's here, suddenly I know. If she's here, it's crystal clear. I'm where I'm meant to go..."_

AJ recognized the song as I See The Light from Tangled. She sang with the figure until the song ended.

"Who are you?" She asked.

"You can call me..." Responded the figure. "The Coon."

** Song: I See The Light, Disney, Alan Menken, Glenn Slater**


	7. Chapter 7

"Could you come into the light, pretty please?" AJ asked. "I just want to see you." The Coon stepped into the light of the dim lit house lights. "Oh my gosh! You're some kind of hero, like in the comics and stuff."

"No Shi..." The Coon replied. "I mean yeah."

"What brings you to my window, Coon?"

"You."

"What about me?"

"You are different." Cartman was having difficulty talking to AJ. A, he was nervous and B, he never told a girl that he liked them. "...In a good way."

"What do you mean by that?"

"To begin, I want to thank you for being nice to my friend, Eric Cartman."

"No problemo. Wait, you know Eric?"

"Yes, I've known him his whole life."

"That is so cool!"

"Yeah, Eric is pretty awesome and cool. Also, has anyone told you how pretty...you...look in the moonlight?"

"No."

"Well you do."

"Oh...that's so sweet of you."

"Come down."

"I can't its too late at night."

"God dam...I mean how about tomorrow night?"

"Are you asking me out on a date?"

"Yes."

"Okay, how about come pick me up at 8:00 tomorrow."

"Okay I will be there, babe. Oh...one more thing."

"Yes?"

"Don't use my hero name whenever you decide to talk about me." Eric knew girls gossiped and couldn't keep secrets. This was smart on his part.

"Okay I will just call you my hero of the night."

"Perfect. I have to go now."

"Otay, bye bye Coonie." After that, Eric went back into the dark and AJ shut her window and went back to bed.

The next day, AJ woke up to her sister.

"Wake up sissy!" Shouted Cassandra.

"No..." AJ groaned. "Too tired."

"Why?"

"Last night, I was visited by my hero of the night."

"Wait, what!?"

"Yes, he was so cute. I'm going to see him tonight at 8."

"Well..that's great." Cassandra said through her teeth. "THIS HERO'S GONNA DIE!" Shouted Cassandra's thoughts. "He is not going to take away my big sister!"

"Cassandra, I'm so happy."

"...me too."

"Come on, I need you to help me pick out an outfit tonight."

"...Fine."

At the mall, the 4 boys were treating themselves to lunch at the food court.

"Sooo..." Kyle began.

"What, Jew?" Replied Cartman.

"Did you hook up with her?"

"GOD DAMMIT NO! I don't even like her."

("Right...") Kenny said. ("You looked pretty mad when you saw me with her.")

"SHUT UP, KINNY!"

"Dude, just go out with her." Stan said. "We all know you like her, why don't you just ask?"

"...Fuck you guys."

"Well, if you don't like her, why haven't you asked anyone to the dance?" Asked Kyle.

"Because Kahl, i'm independent!"

"Wow..."

("What boy shows up to a dance without a date? That's social suicide.") Kenny said.

"Kenny, first of all, stop quoting Mean Girls. Second of all, it is not social suicide because I'm not going to go to the dumb dance anyways." Cartman replied.

("Sucks to be you because you will be the only 4th grader not going")

"Last time I checked, Kenny. You didn't have a date."

("Actually Fatass, I have four dates.")

"God damn, dude." Kyle shouted. "How did you pull that off?"

("Easy, the four 6th grade girls agreed to share me.")

"Did you say 6th graders?" Stan asked.

("Hell yeah!") Kenny replied. ("They all wanted to go with me.")

"Damn..."

"Whatever." Cartman said rolling his eyes. "So Kenny is being a man whore, what else is new?"

("At least I have a date...well dates.") replied Kenny.

"Well I'm gonna get more fries."

"Haven't you had enough, Fatass?" Kyle asked.

"No and FUCK OFF JEW!"

"We will be at the arcade." Stan said cutting off Kyle and Cartman's fight. "Meet you there."

The three of the four left the arcade and the fourth went to get a large order of fries. While Eric was in line, AJ and her sister had finally chose AJ's outfit for the night. They were in the food court, approaching the line where Eric stood. AJ was so infatuated with telling her sister about her hero, she bumped right into Cartman. Eric turned around yelling,

"EH WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING..." Eric paused. "Oh...it's you."

"Hi." AJ said with an apologetic face. "Sorry about bumping into you."

"No, that's fine."

"Really? I was expecting something like not forgiving me."

"No, it's cool...for real."

Cassandra didn't like this boy at all. She could tell that this guy was another boy she had to keep away from her sister.

"Hey," AJ said. "Could you watch my little sister, Cassandra while I use the girls room?"

"...Fine."

"Thank you." AJ gave Eric a quick hug, which pissed Cassandra off. AJ left a minute later; leaving Cassandra and Eric. Then Eric began,

"Listen bitch, I like your sister and you're going to hook us up."

"Ummm no." Replied Cassandra in her cute voice.

"No?! Yes, you little shit!" At that moment, Cassandra grabbed Eric's wrist and twisted it. Eric wanted to scream, but held it back for he didn't want to look weak in public. "You fucking bitch." He squeaked.

"No one is more important to my sister then me." Cassandra said in her angry voice while twisting Eric's wrist harder. "I'm not going to have my sister date some guy that will take her away from me." As Cassandra saw AJ come back, Cassandra let go and began to cry.

"Cassandra, what's wrong?" AJ asked.

"Eric pushed me."

"No I didn't!" Eric replied. "She made that shit up."

"...Eric pretty please don't push my sister." AJ said. "Sure she can be annoying, but It's not okay...anyways, I got to go." AJ left with her sister leaving Cartman in the food court.

"GOD DAMMIT!"


	8. Chapter 8

That night, the doorbell was rung at eight. AJ's mom, Vickie, answered.

"Hello?"

"Hi." The Coon said. "I'm taking your daughter out." Vickie was fairly smart to notice it was Eric Cartman.

"Oh, yes." Replied Vickie with a smile. "You're the hero that Allison was talking about. Please come in." The Coon entered slowly and carefully, for Cartman was still in a cast and did his best to hide it under his pants. The reason he walked so carefully, was he left his crutches at home just like on the night of his first appearance to AJ. This was so AJ wouldn't be suspicious. The Coon took notice to Cassandra. She was playing with her dolls while shooting a death stare at him.

"Is he here?" AJ called down.

"Yes, sweetie." Replied Vickie. After hearing that, AJ slide down the railing of the stairs like the goofball she is. When she landed the Coon said,

"Nice."

"Thanks." Replied AJ. "Who needs to walk down the stairs when you can slide down the railing."

"Well, we better get going, babe."

"Otay, where are we going?"

"It's a surprise."

"Have her back by nine." Vickie said.

"Yes mam." Replied the Coon. As the two left, AJ's mother called Cartman's mom.

"Hello?" Liane said.

"Hi, this is AJ's mom, Vickie."

"Oh hello."

"I just want to say that I'm happy your son has taken an interest in my daughter."

"Oh, so that was the girl my little Eric was talking about. He really likes her a lot."

"Glad to hear that. I just hope this relationship doesn't end too quickly like all of Allison's ex boyfriends. They would break up with her after a week and keep their distance from her after."

"I assure you that Eric is so fond of her, he wouldn't do that." Then for an hour Vickie and Liane had a conversation while Cassandra got up and went into her room.

Cassandra began making a mini doll of The Coon. For now that AJ had a new man, it was time to get rid of him.

"Soon my dear tiny doll." Cassandra said. "You will be joining the rest." Cassandra stood up and went into her closet and pulled out a board with dolls over it. They each symbolized AJ's past boyfriends. "Soon, very soon."

"Cassandra go to bed!" Shouted Vickie. "It's past your bed time."

"Okay mom!" Cassandra said. Then she spoke to the doll again. "You dodged the bullet this time, but you will join the rest." Cassandra put the doll in her drawer, returned the board to its hiding place, and went to bed.

"Where are you taking me?" AJ asked with a blind fold around her head.

"It's a surprise." Replied the Coon.

"I just love surprises!"

"I assumed." After a few minutes, they arrived. The Coon took the blind fold off AJ to reveal a table for two with a candle. What really blew AJ's mind was they were on the roof of a restraunt in South Park. It had an amazing view of the moon and stars.

"OH MY GOD!" Shouted AJ. "This is so cool. How did you put this together?"

"I know people." Replied the Coon.

"You are so awesome!"

"I know." At that moment, the doors leading downstairs swung open.

"Wercome to Shitty Wok. May I take your order prease?" Asked the City Wok's owner, Lu Kim. The Coon ordered a whole meal of Chinese. There was laughter and stories. Even the the owner did his famous war dance.

"Wow, you're like the first guy who actually took me somewhere other than McDonalds." AJ said.

"Well I'll never be like them, babe." The Coon said handing the owner Liane's credit card.

"Yeah, because you're a hero!...It's funny, I feel like I know you from somewhere."

"What!? You don't know me."

"I said that I felt like I knew silly. Coonie, do you always limp when you walk?"

"Ugh..." At that moment it began to rain.

"Dammit!" Shouted the Coon.

"Omg this is amazing!" Shouted AJ over the thunder of the storm. She completely forgot about her former question and said,

"Dance with me!"

"What!? Out here!?" The Coon asked.

"Dancing in a storm is so romantic. It's my fantasy." The Coon smiled and pulled her close.

"...I...I...can't dance."

"It's easy, Coonie. Put your arm on my waist and I put mine on your shoulder." The Coon followed. "Now take my hand." The Coon took her hand and they danced in the storm.

AJ got home soaking wet, but in a trance of love.

"Oh my God! Allison you are soaking wet!" Vickie spouted.

"Oh Mom it was wonderful!" Shouted AJ.

"You could have caught ammonia."

"I've never been so happy!"

"Jesus, you should have worn a jacket!"

"Goodnight Mom."

"...Did you hear me?"

"Hear what?"

"Never mind, take a shower and go to bed."

Sunday went by and Monday morning came. On the way to the bus stop, Kenny pulled Eric aside.

("Dude, you are going to brake your leg again if you keep walking on your cast.")

"What are you talking about, Kinny?!" Cartman replied.

("I'm not stupid. You went on a secret date with AJ as the Coon."

"How the fuck did you find that out!?"

("I'm Mysterion, remember? I watch over South Park at night.")

"Dammit!"

("Dude, seriously. Why didn't you just ask her out as yourself?")

"Don't you get it!?"

("Get what?")

"She would laugh in my face."

("Dude, you have to be fucking kidding me? You? Afraid to ask someone out as yourself?")

"Shut up, Kinny!"

("Well, you really fucked up Cartman because now she's not in love with you, she's in love with the Coon.")

"God dammit, Kinny!"

("It's true! Before this get's worse, you need to tell her the truth.")

"I can't!"

("Well then i guess you're fucked.")

"...Kinny?"

("What!?")

"Don't tell Stan and Kyle."

("Why!?")

"I'll pay you twenty dollars."

("Let me see it.") Eric pulled out a twenty dollar bill and handed it to Kenny. ("Fine...I won't tell.")

"Thank you, Kinny."

("You're welcome. By the way, if you don't tell AJ you are the Coon by Wednesday, I will tell her.")


	9. Chapter 9

At recess, AJ was blabbing to all the girls about her hero.

"Come on AJ, what's his real hero name?" Asked Millie.

"I can't tell you." Replied AJ.

"Are you sure you weren't dreaming?" Wendy asked.

"I'm pretty sure." Replied AJ. "This was legit-ical."

("Hey AJ,") Kenny said as he approached AJ.

"Yes Ken-noodle?" AJ said turning to Kenny

("Can I talk to you?")

"Otay." Kenny and AJ walked until they were alone. "What's up-itty?"

("Cartman needs to talk to you. I thought it would be best to say that to you away from the girls.")

"Good idea. Otay, i'll go see Eric." AJ skipped over to see Cartman followed by Kenny; who just walked.

Cartman and Kyle were arguing over their usual bullshit.

"Hey Eric!" AJ shouted. Eric turned around to see AJ and Kenny. "Ken-ken says you need to talk to me." At that moment, Stan and Kyle giggled.

"What's so fucking funny!?" Cartman shouted at them.

"Are you going to confess?" Kyle giggled.

"GOD DAMMIT, NO!" That is when Cartman pulled Kenny aside at that moment to say,

"Dude, what the fuck?"

("The sooner you tell her the better.") Kenny said.

"Kinny, I need to tell her privately."

("You know what, fine")

"Good."

Cartman turned to face AJ.

"Yes," He said. "I wanted to know what you got for number three on the quiz."

"I don't know." AJ replied. "I just went with C."

"Okay cool."

"The answer was D." Kyle said.

"...Kyle, nobody fucking asked you." Cartman responded.

After school, Cartman hobbled quickly after AJ.

"Hey AJ!" He shouted.

"Yes? Oh hi, Car-car." She responded.

"The Coon told me about you two."

"I'm not surprised, I heard you guys are besties."

"Yeah, well, the Coon wanted to see you again tonight."

"He does? Really?!"

"Yes."

"OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH! Thanks for telling me, oh I could just kiss you!" AJ quickly kissed Eric on the cheek and skipped off; she lost her balance at one point, but recovered and returned to skipping home.

When she was gone, Eric put his hand to the cheek that was kissed. For the first time he blushed.

("Did you tell her?") Kenny asked while approaching Eric.

"No, but I'm going to see her again tonight." Replied Cartman.

("You have till Wednesday, Cartman. Until Wednesday.")

That night, the Coon rang the doorbell. Vickie answered.

"Oh hi, come in." Vickie said.

"Is he here!?" AJ shouted.

"Yes." AJ ran into the room practically sliding on the floor.

"Hi, babe."

"Now AJ," Vickie said. "Make sure you and your hero put your sister to bed."

"Got it mom."

"Good, I'm going out with gals. I'll be back by ten." Then Vickie left. Eric was not expecting to be around AJ's sister that night. He knew she was secretly a little bitch.

"Hey Cassandra." AJ called. "Come here." Cassandra walked into the room and stared at the Coon. "Cassandra this is the hero I've told you about."

"I know, sissy." Cassandra responded. "I saw him last time." Cassandra knew of the Coon's stay that night and had secretly made a plan to be rid of him by the rest of the night. "Sissy, I'm hungry."

"All right Cassandra. Mom bought us KFC."

"Did you just say KFC?" The Coon asked.

"Yeah, Coonie! It's one of my favoritest foods."

"Really? Me too."

"...Can we just have the chicken already?" Cassandra said.

"Allright, allright. Go get it and bring it to the table, little sis." Cassandra smiled, but on the inside was a smirk. Cassandra sorted the KFC on the plates. The Coon's plate contained chicken dipped in extremely hot, hot sauce.

They all sat down at the table and began to eat. Of course the Coon got sweaty and his tongue began to burn. Cassandra was smirking on the outside this time.

"Something wrong?" AJ asked.

"FU..WHERE'S YOUR SINK!? WATER!" Panted Coon.

"There's a sink in the bathroom, grab a cup and go." Then the Coon stood up and went quickly to the restroom.

"Funny," AJ said to her sister. "I didn't order spicy chicken."

"Maybe the order got mixed up and they put some spicy chicken in our bucket." Cassandra innocently said.

"Must be."

"I'm going to check on him." Cassadra said.

"Okay." Replied her sister.

Cassandra peeked into the bathroom to see the Coon constantly filling up the cup and drinking the water. That is when Eric took off his mask for his face was sweaty as hell. Cassandra saw his face from the mirror and her jaw dropped. This guy? The guy at the mall?

Cassandra never heard her mother that night when her mom had a chat with Eric's mom on the phone so this was shocking.

"You," Cassandra spoke causing Eric to turn around. "You are my sisters hero?!...I'm telling on you!"


	10. Chapter 10

**Short chapter, I'm going to make chapter 11 longer. **

"Oh no you don't." Cartman said taking Cassandra's arm. "You're not ruining this for me, bitch."

"Let go asshole." Cassandra replied.

"No." Then Cassandra bit Eric's arm. "OW!"

"Are you otay?" AJ called from the dining room.

"Fine, just fine." Eric replied putting his mask on. Cassandra stuck her tongue out and headed to the dining room.

"Sissy!" Cassandra said.

"What?" Replied AJ.

"The Coon is that boy from the mall."

"...Good one, sis."

"What?"

"You almost had me there."

"But..."

"Cassandra, you crack me up-ity." Cassandra stared at Eric; he was sticking his tongue out waving the middle finger. Cassandra was pissed as hell.

Later, the three went to go watch TV. Cassandra secretly put a whoopee cushion under the couch. If there's one thing girls hate, it's farts. Cassandra ran to her bean bag and sat down. The Coon and AJ went to sit on the couch. Coon sat down and the whoopee cushion went off.

Eric knew it was Cassandra's work, but his thoughts of kicking her ass went away when AJ laughed.

"Excuse me..." The Coon said quietly.

"Cassandra got you good, Coonie." AJ laughed. The Coon got up and Aj removed the whoopee cushion. "The old whoopee cushion technique." Cassandra got mad but smiled and replied,

"Thanks sis."

"Sorry, Coonie." AJ said.

"Oh it's fine." Coon lied. "That was actually pretty funny." That is when Cartman gave the evil eye to Cassandra.

Later, AJ went to tuck Cassandra in.

"Sissy, your boyfriend is scary." Cassandra said.

"He's a sweet heart." AJ responded. " You just got to get to know him better. I'm sure you'll learn to be besties."

"I doubt it." Cassandra mumbled

"What?"

"I'll try it. I'll try to learn how to be a bestie to your boyfriend."

"Good." AJ gave Cassandra a kiss on the cheek, walked to the light switch, turned the lights off, and walked out of the room while shutting the door.

"Well," Cassandra thought. "Getting rid of this one won't be as as I thought."

The next day, Tuesday morning Butters walked up to AJ's locker. AJ and Cassandra were talking.

"Oh hi-ya, Butters!" Aj said.

"Hi, AJ." Butters replied.

"Who's this, Sis?" Asked Cassandra.

"This is Butters." AJ said. "He's like a brother to me." Cassandra tilted er head. As long as he wasn't there to get with AJ, Cassandra decided to be nice to him.

"Hello Butters! Are you gonna be my big brother?"

"Well..." Butters replied rubbing his knuckles. "I guess I am since I'm AJ's brother from another mother." They all laughed and as Cartman hobbled by he saw Butters give Cassandra a hug,

"Oh hell nah!" His mind shouted. Eric approached Butters.

"Hi Eric!" Butters said.

"Butters, we need to talk."

"Okay, bye AJ, bye Cassandra." Butters left with Eric. Eric noticed that while they were leaving, Cassandra stared him down.

Eric and Butters went into the boy's bathroom and shut the door.

"Butters," Eric began. "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?"

"What! What did I do!?" Butters replied.

"Dude, you just exchanged a hug with AJ's sister. Are you fucking stupid?"

"But Eric, she's like my little sister."

"Butters, that bitch is the fucking devil."

"The devil?"

"Yes the devil."

"Eric, that's not true."

"Yes it fucking is. Look, she bit my my fucking arm." Eric showed Butters his arm.

"Eric, are you trying to trick me?"

"What!? No."

"...Listen Eric, I want to believe you, but the last time I did, my parents grounded me."

"But Butters-"

"-No buts, Eric. I don't want to get grounded again." Butters went to class leaving Eric. Eric was shocked to see that the only boy who actually believes everything he says did not believe him.

("Eric!") Kenny shouted running up to Eric.

"No Kinny, I didn't tell her." Replied Eric.

("Today and Tomorrow are your last chances. Otherwise, you pussy out and I tell her.") Kenny left for class leaving Eric to yell.

"GOD DAMMIT KINNY! I'M NOT GOING TO PUSSY OUT!"


	11. Chapter 11

Eric joined the boys at the table.

"So who are you going with to the dance?" Token asked. "I'm going with Nicole."

"Well," Stan said. "I'm going with Wen-"

"-Stan," Cartman interupted. " we all know you're going with fucking Wendy."

"Fuck you!"

"Fuck you too, Stan."

"I'm going with Annie." Clyde said.

"Since when?" Cartman asked.

"Since ten minutes ago."

("I'm going with three sixth graders.") Kenny said.

"Nice." Token said.

"Lucky." Clyde said.

"Ki-i-i-ck ass!" Jimmy said.

"Do you have a date Jimmy?" Stan asked.

"Yeah it's a su-ur-ur-prise."

"I'm going with Bebe." Kyle said.

"Bebe's gonna have a shitty night." Cartman said. "Jews don't have rhythm."

"What the fuck does that have to do with anything?"

"Dude, you're going to step on her foot and then she's going to kick you in the balls."

"That won't happen, fatass. Just shut up."

"Craig, who are you going with?" Token asked.

"Well," Craig said. "I'm going to ask AJ."

"Wait? WHAT!?" Eric spouted. Kyle and Stan began to whisper and giggle. Eric took notice and tried to calm himself.

"Yeah, she's kind of cute. If she says yes, I would be so happy."

"You do realize she has a boyfriend, right?"

"So?"

"So you don't ask a girl out when she already has a boyfriend."

"Why do you care?"

"I care because I know her boyfriend and if you try to get with her, he's going to kick your white ass, Craig."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Who is he?"

"His name is classified, but they say he's her hero of the night."

"...Whatever Cartman."

"Don't whatever me! I'm saving your ass goddammit!"

Later that night, Eric paced back and forth in front of his bed; his phone was on the bed. He knew AJ's number for she told the Coon on the night of their first date.

"Shit! Shit!" Cartman yelled.

"What's wrong, poopsiekins?" Eric's mom said opening the door.

"Nothing, Mom!"

"Okay." Eric's mom shut the door and Eric went to his phone. Eric took a deep breath and dialed the number.

AJ's cell rang, however AJ was in the shower. Cassandra heard AJ's phone ringing and called,

"Sissy, your phone is ringing."

"Could you pretty please get that?" AJ said from the shower.

"Okay." Cassandra approached the ringing phone and saw the caller ID, Cassandra smirked, she had one nasty plan. Cassandra walked out of her sister's room to hers. Then Cassandra answered the phone. "Hello?" She said imitating her sister.

"Hey babe." Eric said as the Coon.

"Oh hi, Coonie bear."

"Hey, we need to talk."

"Otay."

"Well, I have to tell you something."

"Me too! You should lose weight."

"Wait, WHAT!?"

"You're fat and you need to get in shape."

"Babe, I'm big boned."

"I don't think so."

"..." At that moment AJ opened Cassandra's door.

"Who are you talking to?"

"No one, Sissy." Cassandra dropped her sister's phone on her bed without hanging it up. AJ went to her bed, picked up her phone, and said,

"Hello?"

"Hey it's your boyfriend." The Coon said. "Your sister was imitating you on the fu...freaking phone and said I was fat."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Coonie. I don't know what's wrong with my sister. I'll talk to her."

"...okay."

"So whats up?"

"...Oh I wanted to say hi."

"Hi."

"Yeah I got to go, babe."

"Otay, bye.

"Bye." The Coon said hanging up the phone. AJ hung up the phone and looked at Cassandra.

"What?" She asked innocently.

"Sis, pretty please be nice to him."

"It was just a little prank."

"Yes, but you could have hurt his feelings."

"I guess so."

"Otay good."

The Next day; Wednesday. Eric snuck into school. He was trying to avoid Kenny at all costs. Eric knew he was running out of time. As Eric was at his locker, he let out a sigh of relief, grabbed his stuff, and shut the door only to find Kenny, who was hiding behind his open door.

"KENNY!" Eric yelled. "YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME!"

("...You didn't tell her, did you?") He said crossing his arms.

"I almost did."

("What do you mean by almost?")

"You see, its her sister. She's the fucking devil."

("Yeah her sister is the fucking devil.")

"Wait!? You believe me?"

("I met the bitch, don't get me started. Anyways, go on."

"Well, she imitated AJ and in AJ's voice, she called me fat."

("...But you are.")

"Fuck you, Kinny. I'm big boned."

("...Go on.")

"Anyways, AJ eventually caught the bitch in action and when AJ actually got on the phone, I couldn't talk."

("...Cartman?")

"What?"

("Either you tell her or when the final bell rings today, I tell.") Kenny left to class leaving Eric at his locker. Eric opened his bag; his Coon costume was in there. He held it close and saw AJ walking to class. He quickly put his costume away. AJ stopped at Eric's locker.

"Need any help, Car-car?" She asked.

"No!" He responded "I...I...got it." Eric picked up his bag and limped to class on his crutches.

The day went by quick. There were five minutes left of class. Eric still did not tell AJ. Eric could feel his heart pounding after every minute passed. RING! The bell rang.

AJ went to her locker to collect her things to find Kenny waiting there.

"Hey Ken-Ken!" She said. "What's up?"

("I need to talk to you about the Coon.") He responded.

"Kenny, how did you know-"

("-Shh. Follow me.") Eric spotted Kenny and AJ going to the janitor's closet. Eric quickly snuck into the room.

"Kenny? What's going on?" AJ asked.

"I know who the Coon is." Kenny said removing his hood.

"You do? Who?"

"It's-"

"-Stop!" Yelled the Coon.

"Coonie? How did you get here?" AJ asked. "What's going on?"

"...AJ..." The Coon said. "I need to tell you something."

"What?"

"Before I tell you...could I kiss you? If you don't like what you see after I revel myself, well, at least I could have this moment."

"Of course!" AJ leaned in for a kiss. The Coon leaned in and kissed her. It was a long kiss. During this kiss, AJ took off the Coon's mask and broke out of the kiss. She looked at her hero. "Eric? ERIC CARTMAN!?"


	12. Chapter 12

("I'll just leave you two alone.") Kenny said putting his hood back on. Kenny walked out of the room leaving the two alone.

"Eric, why? Why did you not talk me?" AJ said.

"In case you haven't noticed." Cartman said. "Every girl fucking hates me."

"I don't...well...I didn't."

"AJ?"

"No! I...I can't do this. Car-car, if you had just been you...well, I would have given you a shot...but now, I don't know."

"AJ, I know I should have told you."

"Yes you should of, now, I...I...I have to go!" AJ ran out of the closet leaving Cartman.

"AWW FUCK ME!" Eric's thoughts shouted. "I should have fucking listened to Kinny."

AJ walked quickly and without noticing, bumped into Kyle.

"Oh sorry, Kyle." AJ said.

"Hey it's cool." He replied. "Is something wrong?"

"Oh it's nothing..."

"It looks like there is something."

"I have to go." AJ walked away.

AJ got home and went straight to her room and shut the door. Mrs. Jade was out grocery shopping so AJ didn't receive a knock on her door from her mother. However Cassandra went to her sister's door and knocked.

"Sissy, what's wrong?" She asked.

"GO AWAY CASSANDRA!"

"Is it your boyfriend?"

"He's not my boyfriend anymore...so just go away." Cassandra never seen her sister this upset. Cassandra figured that AJ found out that it was Eric. Cassandra smiled to herself knowing that she was rid of this guy, but her smile faded to the sound of her sister crying. Cassandra was surprised her sister didn't invite her into her room to talk. Usually that happened with every break up.

"Are you sure you don't want-"

"-YES!"

Cassandra huffed and went to her room. She lied down on her bed.

"That tubby dickless piece of shit is gone and I didn't even have to do it myself...but I'm unhappy." Her thoughts raced. "...It's my sister...she has never been this upset over a boy before. No! I won't fix this! I won't!" Cassandra listened to her sister's muffled crying from the other side of the wall and sighed. "FINE!"

Cassandra walked out of her house and across the street to Cartman's. Cassandra knocked on the door and Liane answered.

"Oh hello." She said. "Your Allison's little sister, right?"

"Yes, could I talk to your son, please?"

"Of course sweety, Eric is upstairs."

Cassandra walked upstairs and walked into Eric's room.

"What the fuck do you want, bitch?" Eric asked. "You got your way now leave me alone." Cassandra sighed and grabbed Eric by his arm and surprisingly she was able to drag him forward. "EH! LET GO!" Cassandra set nothing as she kept her grip on Eric's arm.

Cassandra pulled Eric down the stairs, out the door, across the street, and into the house.

"You can't do this to me!" Eric shouted. Cassandra still ignored him which made Cartman pissed. "EH! DON'T FUCKING IGNORE ME!" Cassandra dragged Eric up the stairs and to her sister's door.

"As much as I fucking hate you." Cassandra said. "I hate to hear my sister cry...so you better fix this." Cassandra walked down stairs to make sure Eric wouldn't decide to leave without working things out. Even though Eric was in confusion of Cassandra's actions, he was more focused on getting AJ back. Eric knocked,

"Can I come in?" Eric asked.

"No...just...go away." AJ muttered.

"Come on."

"No."

"Just let me in."

"No!"

"But...Alli." Eric whined as if he was whining at his mom to get his way.

"...No..."

"But...ALLI!"

"...Come in."

Eric opened the door to AJ's room. AJ was laying on her bed; she was faced away from Eric. Eric walked up to AJ's bed and sat down next to her.

"I denied my feelings for you." Eric said. "I tried to cover them up by being an asshole. The truth is you're the only girl who has really ever been nice to me...and I think I really you know, like-like you..." Eric sprung up quickly and left the house. Eric had never been so pissed off and embarrassed. He decided to go home and mope in his room.

The next day Kyle ran up to Cartman,

"SON OF A BITCH!" Kyle said. "I fucking knew it! You do like her!"

"No I don't, Kahl!" Cartman responded.

"Yeah you do, Kenny told me everything."

"What!? Kenny?" Eric said directing his attention to Kenny.

("He paid me 50 bucks dude.") Kenny responded.

"Okay fine! Yes, I do like her."

"It's about time you fessed up." Stan said.

"Did you tell her?" Butters asked chiming into the conversation.

"My guess is he did." Kyle said. "Because AJ bumped into me yesterday and she was upset."

"Okay fine. You're fucking right, Kahl."

"So what happened, dude?" Stan asked.

"I was dragged to AJ's house by her sister." Cartman said. "I talked to her, but she didn't respond so I went fucking home."

"So she doesn't like you?" Butters asked.

"I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!" Cartman responded. "Fuck you guys I'm going to class." Eric turned to go to class and that is when he saw AJ running towards him. She was smiling and giggling as she ran down that hall. Right before she reached Eric, she tripped and fell into Eric's arms.

"Oopsie!" AJ said.

"AJ!?" Cartman said confused.

"Thanks for catching me."

"Yeah..."

"Hey, I did a lot of thinking and well, I think I like-like you too." After that, AJ kissed Eric in front of everyone. Some of the girls and guys made disgusted faces while others were shocked.

"Hey." AJ said after the kiss. "Does this mean we are bf and gf now?"

"Let me think," Cartman said. "Ugh hell yeah!"

"And we are going to the dance right?"

"Ughh no shit!"

"YAY!"

That is when Craig approached the two. He had no idea what happened for he was late to school.

"Hey AJ?" Craig asked.

"Yes?" She responded.

"Would you like to go to the dance with me?"

"Ugh sorry...but no."

"SHE'S GOING WITH ME!" Cartman shouted. "So ha ha ha!" Cartman and AJ walked to class.

"Well," Craig said. "I'll just go ask Red."

That is when the bell ringed for class and everyone cleared the hallways.


	13. Chapter 13

**Final Chapter of this story :) but there will be more to come i promise oh and I also changed a chapter from Cartman talking to his stuffed animals to him talking to Cupid Me. This is because this takes place after he offed his stuffed animals.**

In class, Wendy sat down next to Bebe.

"What's up, Bebe?" Wendy asked.

"Did you hear?" Bebe said.

"Hear what?"

"Did you see? It's like all over Facebook."

"See what!?"

"That." Bebe pointed at AJ and Eric as they walked into class holding hands. However, it was hard because Eric was still on crutches.

"What the hell?" Wendy replied.

"I know right." Bebe said.

"It's like she completely ignored us."

"She **DID** completely ignore us."

"Great, now all that fatass is going to do is brag."

"What I'm surprised about is how AJ isn't even embarrassed."

"Listen, we'll talk to her during lunch."

"What's the use, Wendy? It's not like we can convince her. We tried that."

"Well then maybe we can show her Cartman in action."

"Or maybe it would be best to just let it be."

"What are you saying, Bebe?"

"I'm saying let her fall on her ass. That's probably the only way she'll learn."

"...Fine I guess you're right."

"Then it is agreed that we all should stay out of it."

"Yes, agreed."

A few weeks passed by and it was finally the night of the dance; Eric's cast was finally off.

"Mem!" Cartman yelled. "Where's my damn tie?!"

"Right here, hun." Liane responded holding it up. Cartman grabbed it and put it on.

At AJ's house, her mom was helping her get ready. Cassandra watched still peeved about her dating this guy, but happy her sister was happy.

"I'm so excited!" AJ said jumping around.

"Hold still, sweetie." Vicki said trying to curl her daughter's hair.

"Sorry, Mom."

Later, the doorbell rang and Cassandra answered.

"Hello asshole." She said sweetly.

"Hello bitch." Cartman replied. "I thought you were gonna be nice to me."

"HA! You wish! I don't have to be nice to you when my sister's not around."

"Fine! Then I get to be an asshole to you when your sister's not around."

"Fine!" At that moment AJ walked down the stairs. She made Eric's mouth hang open to how good she looked.

"God damn!" Eric said. "You look fucking hot."

"Thank you." AJ giggled. "Shall we go?"

"Yes." As Cartman turned around with AJ towards the door, he flicked off Cassandra. Cassandra returned the favor by flicking him off too.

At the dance, the gym was decorated in a spring theme with flowers and warm colors. Kenny was mingling with his girls, Kyle was getting Bebe some punch, and Stan and Wendy were dancing. AJ felt like she was gonna burst from excitement.

"I'm sooo excited!" She squealed.

"Oh look it's a Jew!" Cartman said as they went over to Kyle and Bebe.

"Stop it Cartman." Kyle said.

"Come on, what part of that wasn't true?"

"You said it like you were mocking me, fatass!"

"Guys let's just hold the phone!" AJ said. "Can't we have peace tonight?" AJ turned to Cartman making a cute puppy face. "Please?"

"Fine..." Cartman replied.

"Hiya fellers!" Butters shouted.

"Hi Butters!" AJ said.

"Sally and I are heading to the dance floor. See you there?"

"Of course!" Butters then smiled and walked into the crowd with his date.

"You're fucking shitting me, aren't you?" Cartman said. "How did Butters convince Sally Darson to go to the dance with him?"

"He probably payed her." Kyle said. "After all he did start that kissing company with her."

"Actually." Said AJ. "I set them up."

"No fucking way." Cartman said in disbelief.

"Yes way Car-car."

"How?!"

"I just talked to Sally."

"That's all?" Bebe asked.

"Yeppers." Responded AJ.

"Kyle, can we go dance now?" Bebe asked.

"Yeah."

"Just don't step on her foot, Kahl." Cartman added.

"Shut up." Kyle disappeared into the crowd on the dance floor with Bebe.

"Hey Car-car? Can we go dance."

"Ughh."

"Oh come on."

"Here?"

"Yes, you danced with me before."

"But everyone is watching."

"Car-car are you being a scardy cat?"

"No..."

"Yes."

"Dammit AJ!" Eric said out of embarrassment.

"Dammit Eric!" AJ teased while mimicking Cartman. "Why you no come dance?"

"Because I don't want to."

"Because you are a big chicken!"

"No way!"

"Yep!"

"No!"

"Prove it."

"Fine AJ...fine."

"Yay!" AJ excitingly grabbed Eric's hand and dragged him to the dance floor. Cartman was turning red by all the staring faces. At dances, he never danced. He just hung out by the food.

AJ didn't care wether people were staring at them or not. Nothing was going to bother her tonight.

"Hey Kenny K!" AJ shouted. Kenny waved at AJ from a distance and then gave a thumbs up. AJ and Cartman also noticed that Jimmy brought Nancy. The surprise that he was talking about was he made up with her.

The DJ played Cupid Shuffle, Gas Pedal, Royals, and even the famous Cha Cha Slide which was everyone's favorite. Eric cracked a smile to see AJ so full of energy.

Finally a slow song played, All of me by John Legend. All the couples began to slow dance. AJ smiled and showed Eric for his second time how to slow dance. AJ smiled and put her head on Eric's shoulder. Eric blushed but tried to play it cool. AJ then whispered,

"You're so awesome and cool."

"I know." Cartman replied.

**The End**

**Credits:**

**South Park-Trey Parker and Matt Stone**

**Songs-**

**Cupid Shuffle by Cupid**

**Gas Pedal by Sage the Gemini **

**Royals by Lorde **

**Cha Cha Slide by DJ Casper**

**All of Me by John Legend**


End file.
